It was a scary weekend. I had been feeling low for a few days but our life required us to be busy and distracted, so I felt it had passed. Of course, once the wrong amount of alcohol comes into the picture, everything changes. I lost control of my emotions; the darkness took hold and pushed my rational self out, leaving my loved ones to pick up the pieces. I am not proud of this part of myself. The part of myself that needs an entire team of people to get through the night. The version of me who makes the wrong decisions, calls the wrong people, leaves destruction in their wake.
I know it’s best not to dwell on these things, that it’s better to learn from the situation and move forward with knowledge and grace. That’s what I’m doing today – making lists, journaling, reflecting. What do I want my life to look like? What do I need to get there?
It’s a lot to tackle in one day. Instead of overwhelming myself with sweeping life changes, I am going to work on getting through today. Just today. And that will lead into tomorrow. Perhaps one day I will go into detail about my brother, his life, our life, our bond. But for today, I will reflect and take a deep breath for myself.
Recovering baby sister 